Why guys look at porn

In today’s episode I will attempt to answer this question, which I seem to get a lot. Let me preface this by saying that what follows is based on my observations and discussions with other men and women on the subject as well as my personal opinions.

I’ve been looking at porn since before I could even get a woody.. I remember walking past a demolished building and finding an adult magazine among the rubble as a kid, my friends and I huddled around it in amazement as the stench of alcohol poured from each page. Surely it was the late night comfort of a homeless person before we got to it. From that point on it was the task of each of us to try and find more and share it. Some kids would raid their daddy’s stash, others would get adults to buy stuff for them. It was a functional bartering system which provided us lil guys with a great educational resource.

Fast forward 750 years and I’m still looking at porn, still learning, and in a way.. still bartering (bittorrent – You have to give in order to get). Every time I start a new relationship, I end up having the porn conversation and occasionally friends ask my opinion or advice on a porn related subject.. so here I’ll be laying out some of the most common questions:

  • Why do guys look at porn?
    • Guys look at porn for many reasons. Sometimes boredom, sometimes because we’re single or otherwise not getting any action, sometimes even just to be able to clear our minds. In a study conducted in 1948, 92% of men spanked it.. that’s right, even your pops. The same study shows that men think about sex several times a day.. that was then, imagine NOW where sex is plastered everywhere you look! What’s in it for us? Shortly following orgasm we get a nice dose of endorphines pumped into our brains.. we like that, it makes us happy.. so what a better way to brighten your day than by getting a quick hit of afterglow juice? Granted, there are other ways to get the same effect.. sex, running, crack.. but no way is so easily accessible or quick to achieve. So the basic math is, guys are visual.. we need to SEE something in order to move ourselves to our fix.
  • Am I cheating on my wife?
    • That depends.. is the porn of someone you actually know or do you wish you were with the porn star instead of your wife? From my studies I do not find this to be the case with most men, including myself. Most men use porn to either get their fix, or sometimes even to learn new moves and spice up their sex lives.
  • Does it mean he’s not satisfied with me?
    • Not at all. This is perhaps the hardest part for women to understand. A man looking at porn usually has no direct correlation to his partners sexual performance, to the man it’s no different than watching a ball game on tv.. except this game uses different balls. Now, I say “usually” because sometimes it IS due to you.. for instance if you have an addiction to using the word “No”. Some women tend to use sex as a weapon.. or reward to get men to do their bidding, this action would prompt men to make a mental decision “Do I do xyz in order to get sex or do I just take care of it myself?”, also if you and your partner have discussed each of your fantasies and desires but one is unwilling to engage in fulfilling the desires of the other, then that could lead to excessive pornage. I’m not saying it’s essential to cater to their every desire, as some fantasies are best left that way.. but be aware of the side effects.
  • How can I get him to stop?
    • Get him to stop? You can no more stop him from that than you can stop him from pooping or snoring. The only thing you would do if you tried to get him to stop is manage to get him to start hiding it from you. I know many guys whose women asked them to stop, to which they agreed only then to start devising complicated schemes of protecting their porn habits.. from cleaning out the “visited websites” part of the web browser to special hidden folders on the computer. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to NOT push your partner into deception as that would be worse than anything you can imagine. I can only recommend that you either learn to accept it or better yet embrace it as something you can both do together.. done properly it can greatly intensify your sex life.
  • Not all guys look at porn!
    • From my observations I conclude that there are two types of men when it comes to porn.. those who look at porn, and those who lie about it. Porn and masturbation have been defined in such negative terms that men will either blatantly boast about it as a sign of defiance or hide it somewhere dark and dank in fear or being chastised for being a man. From prehistoric times where cavemen etched naked chicks onto cave walls to the futurists future where we’ll have porn etched onto our eyelids, porn will not be going away and it must be accepted and controlled just like video games, caffeine, and any other acceptable part of life. 92% in 1948.. that’s 9 out of 10 guys.. so next time you’re around 10 guys, be sure to only shake hands with that 1 guy. 🙂

There you have it. My opinions and observations on the matter at hand (no pun.. ok, a little pun intended). Keep in mind that porn, like just about anything else, can cause individuals with addictive personalities to become addicted to porn. Addictions of any sort are problematic and should be addressed. If you can NOT go without porn for at least a week or you find that you are choosing it over the real thing, then you may have a problem and should seek help. Also, the type of porn I’m discussing is the normal, “off the shelf”-type of porn. While most people view porn as an evil, unclean form of entertainment, it should be noted that items that fall out of the “consensual sex between men and women” would border on possible psychological issues which should be addressed. In other words, if you or your partner get off on seeing things suffer sexually then it would be advisable to seek professional help as severe sexual deviance is usually associated with mental trauma or instability.