Punkins and Dykes

Pumpkin PatchSo yesterday I was invited to join the krew (Aiden, PlunderBunny, Boobies, and …. that one guy) to visit a place here called Vala’s Pumkin Patch. At first thought I said “Why would I wanna go to some dorky farmer’s pumpkin patch?” But alas, K just about creamed herself at the mention of it.. so we agreed to go.

Once we arrived I was surprised to see about a million cars in the parking lot.. my 1st comment was “Thank God for bored Nebraskans”. While looking for a place to park, stuck behind the slowest possible driver on earth, K noticed a handful of open spots. We passed by a female State Trooper who was directing traffic and she shouted out that I should follow the car in front of me towards a spot on the left.. but K, having seen some open spots on the right, directed me towards the open spots. As I veered right, the State Trooper.. here forth known as ‘dyke’ (for Don’t Yell Knavish Expletives) yelled out something like “Hey Retard! you’re not too bright are you?!” … lovely.

Anyway, once that was over and I did my part by giving her the “evil eye”, we all proceeded into Vala’s. Turns out it’s a little more than some farmer’s pumpkins.. it’s as close to an amusement park as Nebraska will ever have. This summer K and I went on a road trip.. we went to the Bad Lands, DeadWood, a old western era Train ride, and 4-wheeling on the Denver mountains.. Vala’s was like a mini-version of my summer road trip. They have a lil train, human-powered go-karts, a simulated wild west shoot-out, goats, llama’s, pumpkins, lots of food, and more spooky animatronics than you can cower from.

I could see someone who has never left Nebraska being giddy to be there. It was pretty neat.
It was a decent 4-hour event that happily comes but once a year. Once we were ready to leave, I stepped “off the grounds” and realized I hadn’t properly said farewell to the krew.. so I backed up, which apparently is a no-no. I was promptly notified that I was in violation of the “don’t go back in once you leave”-rule. A perfect end to the event.. hassled going in, hassled going out.

  • I’m glad us hicks have finally given you something to enjoy once a year outside of your house.

  • Plunderbunny

    See! I told you it was way super nifty! I liked smashing the pumpkins most of all…and throwing them in the road for the tractor to run over. That made me laugh 🙂