Wet Fingers

..or “When not to hold your tongue”
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my 765 years of existence, it’s this: People Lie.

For all kinds of reasons, logical and not, people just have become accustomed to constantly tellings fibs. Am I saying I don’t lie? Not at all.. I’m the biggest liar I know. I lie constantly.. I lie to myself, I lie to my friends, I lie on my Resume, and I even lie in bed. Sometimes I lie to hide my sadness, sometimes I lie to seem tougher, sometimes I lie because I’m lazy, sometimes I lie because there’s things I don’t want everyone to know. There are many reasons to lie and many people to lie to.

“Ok, Mr. Skid Vis, what’s your point?”

My point is this.. we all lie.. if you say you don’t then you’re telling a lie right there! BUT.. there’s one person you SHOULDN’T be telling lies to.. your significant other! A relationship is the merging of two people into one physically divided, yet emotionally unified person. Your other should know EVERYTHING about you.. the good, the bad, the disgustingly hidden.

A few years ago there was a news story about a man who after 20 years learned that his wife was actually a man.. penis and all! One of my cousins was married to a man for 4 years before she learned that he was actually already married to someone else! Every day people are shocked to learn something about the person they married. That baffles me!

Any girl that has ever dated me knows that I harbor no secrets. I lie my ass off to anyone who will listen, but when I’m in a relationship it all comes out.. my fears, my pleasures, my life, my goals, my expectations! Why is that so hard? The reason the divorce rate is so high is, among other things, that people just don’t know the person they’re marrying! People constantly hide crucial facts from the person they’re dating.. then they marry.. and EVENTUALLY it comes out and the marriage goes to hell in a handbasket.. Trust me, I know!

Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing BUT the truth.. to the person you love. Lie to everyone else if you need to make up for it. If there’s not one person who knows everything about you, then you’ll be alone forever. Believe it.