The Boomerang Effect

You’ve been away for like, a month, and you’re back with a physics lesson?

No, I’m here with a lesson in life and love.

Of course. Please, go on.

Well, the story goes like this.. One day, a very sweet, beautiful angel met a young, wonderful man. They started to date. They shared many wonderful events. Then, out of a sudden, the angel decides she doesn’t want to be with the man anymore. Surely there’s someone more “perfect” for her “out there”.  Many moons pass by and the angel now questions her decision to leave the man. Alas, time wounds all heels, so the man has moved on to another angel.. one that surely thinks there’s someone more “perfect” for her “out there” as well, but has yet to act on it.

Um.. who are you in all this?

Huh? Why do I have to be in this? Can’t I just be an observer?

Well ya.. but that’s not how you normally work.

Who says I work?

Good point.. proceed.

Anyway, I call this.. The Boomerang Effect!

Gasp!

Basically, we like to live in a fairy tale world. We want perfection, we want revisions, we want the “new car smell” to never go away. We find someone who is great, then we tear them apart. We greatly exaggerate every imperfection, as if we ourselves are perfect, and then start looking outwards towards finding that perfection we seek. Some of us are brave and move on, continuing our search for the holy grail, only to realize that what we had was great. Then we spend our days wishing we had back what we gave up, we try to move on, but we never let anyone in because they don’t compare to what we had, so we lose them too, which makes us realize we did it again! It’s an endless cycle.

Rinse, and repeat.

Exactly.

So.. what are you.. or she.. or whomever this story is about, to do?

In the words of the great Vanilla Ice.. Stop, Collaborate, and Listen. If you’re in a relationship, and you’re thinking that things could be better, Stop. Think deeply about things. Have you felt this way before?, acted upon it, and regretted it? Talk to your partner.. Collaborate. Discuss what you feel isn’t perfect.. see if it’s something small that can be changed or compromised. Make sure you’re not just barking out orders.. Listen. Sometimes in a relationship, we tend to start doing the whole “Eye for an Eye” thing. We do something we know the other doesn’t like simply because they’re doing something we don’t like. Eventually it gets out of control and the relationship ends over something that could have been avoided by a simple life change.

So are you saying people should stick with someone they don’t like?

Of course not! Some people just aren’t meant to be together.. that’s life. But in today’s world, we’re quick to hit the eject button. It’s not uncommon to ask “why’d you break up?” and get back something stupid like “He wouldn’t put the toilet seat down!” or “He doesn’t like my dog!”. We really need to focus on the things we DO get from someone, and not so much what’s missing. Nothing is perfect, nothing will ever be perfect. Relationships especially. To sound a bit moronic for a bit..

Oh, you haven’t been doing that the whole time?

Sorry.

Anyway.. think of relationship like a “relation ship”. A ship requires a crew.. you and your partner. The vessel is your journey through life. Once you’re out on the seas, you’re going to encounter good weather and bad weather, calm seas and rough seas. You’ll be hungry, you’ll get wet, you’ll laugh, you’ll fight. You’ll have many good times and many bad times.. but you have to remain a team or you’ll both perish. Ships have an eject button.. you can jump into the ocean. If you’re lucky, you’ll be rescued by another passing ship.. but, more than likely you’re going to be eaten by sharks or just freeze to death.

That’s how we need to think of the eject button.. it’s a last chance choice.. not something we jump to hit like game show contestants.

Deep.. so seriously, who are you in the story??

I’m everyone.

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  • XenNexus

    Wow,I like your analogies.
    You are so true on this matter.

    Sad how some people think there partners are some kinda consumer product. Always wanting somthing better or upgraded. Once you find a person that is ‘good’ for you..not ‘perfect’ you keep them. There is no such thing as somthing perfect. Not in this life anyway. There are lots of goods in this world but very little perfects….if any.