Arrgh! Play with my balls!

The flag of 18th century pirate Calico Jack.

It’s time for another episode of “WTF did I eat before bedtime?”

So in last night’s dream, I was a pirate. Not the “I download files illegally”-pirate, but the honest-to-goodness “Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!”-pirate. So here I am, on a really large pirate ship, so large in fact, that it had a full-sized tennis court on its deck. Yup.. we were some tennis-playing pirates!!! Argh!

Ok, a pirate ship with a tennis court.. no big deal.. but a tennis tournament on a pirate ship? Yup. This pirate ship was packed with pirates from all the seven seas, patched eyes and tennis racquets as far as the unpatched eye could see. See, apparently at some point the Queen of England, Not the current 400-year old Queen of England, but rather a smokin hottie version, was going to hop on board and play against the chosen pirate. I dunno why.. I didn’t ask. All I know is that I really wanted to nail that queen, and well.. my only shot was tennis.

The tournament started.. and since I was a noob, I wasn’t allowed to use a tennis racquet! I had to use something that resembled a large spoon! So, my first few matches totally sucked, but I kept at it. Eventually I was pretty damned good at spooning.. er.. tennis via spoon, and eventually the Queen showed up. Since I held the top spot, I was told that I would be playing her, BUT I COULD NOT WIN! I’m guessing if she lost she’d have our heads? I dunno.. but I know that if I won the pirates themselves would take care of me before I could find out.

The game began, and after she stopped laughing at me for playing with a spoon, it got intense. I was doing really well.. too well. At any second when my eyes weren’t alternating between the beautiful queen and the ball, I would catch a glimpse of a pirate giving me the whole “sliding finger across the throat”-sign.. you know, the one that says “I’m going to kill you if you beat the queen, you fairy!”. I had to work really hard to let her win.. but eventually I lost gracefully. I played well enough that she left me with a wink as she boarded her ship. That’s a good sign, right? I can only imagine that the Queen of England giving a pirate a wink could compare to getting a gals phone number nowadays. 🙂

So that’s it.. I woke up really frickin tired from running around all night. What does this all mean? Halloween is comong up soon.. should I be a pirate and look for a queen? Or was it just bad chinese?

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