The Price of ‘No’

It only seems right that I should write this as my first post of November, and just weeks before Jim Carrey’s new flick, Yes Man.

So.. wut’s this all about? Paying for sex or something?

No. It’s about the word, that word. You see, I’ve been in several great relationships. Relationships that should have been perfect, but they weren’t. Something was wrong with them, and after much thought and analysis, the problem became so transparent that I can’t help but feel like a moron for not seeing it sooner.

Are we talking about your small penis? I can’t blame you for not seeing it earlier..

No! I’m still talking about ‘No’!

My brain hurts ..but go on.

You see, as I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I live in a world of fear. I find myself constantly thinking about things that can go wrong. This fear causes me to put off doing certain things in order to avoid feeling the fear. For instance, do I want to go to a family gathering with my significant other? No.

Why not?

Well, they think highly of me, so when I’m around them I have to walk on pins and needles so that my true personality doesn’t surface and I run the chance of offending someone, or saying/doing something so utterly stupid that I end up losing their respect and admiration.

Geez, that’s paranoid.

Yes indeed, and that’s just ONE situation! There’s plenty more.. wanna go skiing? No.. I might get hurt. Wanna learn to ride a horse? No.. I might look like a dork or get hurt.

I get the point.. you’re a chicken-shit! Move on.

Oh, right. Well.. I also noticed, however, that No’s can come back to bite us in the rear. Every time we utter those tiny, seemingly-insignificant letters, our partner is secretly stashing them in their own No-Vault. You decide to make a request and presto, there’s a ‘No’ fired in your face.. how’s that for ya?

When we’re children, one of the first words we learn is ‘No’. It serves a great purpose, we’re young and ignorant of the dangers all around us, so our loved ones use that to keep us from hurting ourselves or otherwise doing something we shouldn’t. That being, it’s no surprise that we don’t like hearing that word. Our feelings get hurt and, if heard enough, we distance ourselves from the source of that word.

No kidding? So should we just ignore Nancy Reagan and “Just say Yes!”?

um.. no. Something needs to happen, but I’m not recommending the drastic measures taken by Jim Carrey in his flick, but rather a careful, conscious evaluation of the reasons why we’re driven to say ‘No’. Before you fire that word off like it’s your name, stop and pretend you’re on the receiving end of it. We must choose our battles carefully in a relationship, and sometimes braving a situation simply to put a smile on your partner’s face will yield a lot more benefit for the two of you, as opposed to giving them fodder by adding another ‘No’ to the No-Vault.

That’s cool. So from now on you’ll think twice before saying ‘No’?

No. I’ll think thrice.