Dating site review

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What’s all this, now?

Included, for your viewing pleasure, is a dating site popularity chart. I’ve been dating for a little while and I’ve tried pretty much all of the dating sites out there. I figure it’s high time I let people know what I think about these super fine sites.. it’s been a while since I’ve done a ProCons.. so let’s begin.

Yippee!

Match.com

  • Pros
    • Tons of users!
      • Being the most popular has its benefits. You’re pretty much guaranteed to FIND the type of person you’re looking for on this site.
    • Refined Search
      • If you’re reeeeeally picky.. like I am.. you can really drill down in their search and find that one blond that’s a holiday-only christian, plays football, doesn’t like white wine, likes sushi, climbed Mount Everest, and wears thongs. Their search is fun!
  • Cons
    • Cost!
      • It’s 30 bucks a month to be on this sham. For 30 bucks a month, this site will go out of its way to keep you single.
    • 2-timing sleezeballs.
      • If Match.com isn’t stealing enough money from people, they also own Chemistry.com, Chemistry is Match’s attempt at a eHarmony-like system. Think about it.. we’re so confident in our dating site, we own two. Gimme your money and shut up like a good tool.
    • Horrible Chat
      • Instant Messaging is my thing. Why would I want to spend 3 days emailing back and forth only to discover there’s a huge issue which breaks our compatibility when I could discover that issue within 30 seconds of IM? The chat on Match.com blows.. big time. It’s about as passive as someone sticking a post-it to your front door. You try to IM someone and they aren’t notified.. instead a teeny-tiny little link appears in the top left of the screen.. I’ve missed it, and I’m sure all those bitches that ignored me missed it too.
    • Pay to play?
      • Ok.. so I’m dropping my 30 bills a month to use this thing.. I see a smoking hot redhead.. yumm.. so I send her my world-famous “Do you come here often?” email. But wait.. if she’s not plopping down her hard-earned cash, she can’t even READ the damn thing, much less REPLY to it! Unless you subscribe, all you can do is WINK at someone.. which is just about useless. It just sends you an email saying someone likes you. I think the ability to reply should always be free.

PlentyOfFish.com

  • Pros
    • It’s FREE!
      • That’s right, it’s not #2 for nothing. POF is 100% free. You can browse, search, and send/recieve emails all without spending a dime. They recently added some crappy Premium account, but that’s cuz the developer is an a-hole and doesn’t think his crappy site has made him enough millions for sitting on his ass.
    • Plenty of Fish!
      • Yes, being #2 means that there’s tons of people to check out. Yippee!
  • Cons
    • Total Crap.
      • POF is perhaps the crappiest website on the internet. It looks like crap, the images are all distorted, sometimes images don’t load, it has no fancy-dancy web 2.0 magic.. it just plain sucks. I get physically ill when I think about how much money this bloke makes with this POS.
    • Sucky IM
      • Just like Match.com, the Chat app on this site is horrible. It’s about 1% better than Match, but that’s not saying much.
    • Free.. from HELL
      • Free is good, right? I mean.. who wants to spend so much money on a dating site? I do! Free means every wacko, weirdo, and whizzbang is going to hop on, create an account, and pee in the pool. Making you pay to be a part of a site does a decent job of weeding out the wackos.. sure, there’s some “interesting” people on Match.com, but the ratio is like 99:1. I fear checking my mail on POF sometimes. There may be plenty of fish, but the water sure is polluted.

eHarmony.com

  • Pros
    • Um.. nice commercials?
      • We’ve all seen the commercials. eHarm uses a highly sophisticated matching system that matches people based on the 20-something bla bla bla’s that make couples work. Right.
  • Cons
    • Cost!
      • eHarm costs a ton of cash for a little amount of service. It’s rediculous.
    • No Search
      • eHarm doesn’t let YOU sift through their member list.. THEY get to pick. So you’re basically paying them to let you wait.
    • 20-something levels of BS.
      • When you join eHarm, they have you take this personality test. They ask all kinds of questions to try to figure you out.. it’s actually kinda fun. Then they ask you about your dream-date… what’s he/she like.. bla bla bla. Then they use that info to match you up with the perfect person. …or, do you really just pick a random person from the file cabinet? I told them: I like physically active, white redheads. It’s my thing.. what can I say? What was my 1st match? An overly obese African American chick. Great job.. can I get my money back? No? Could you use lube next time, then?

OKCupid.com

  • Pros
    • It’s FREE!!
      • Like POF, OKC is 100% Free! It’s amazing too, considering how awesome it is.
    • Beautiful.
      • OKC is the lowest ranked site on this list.. and that’s a shame. OKC is a work of art. This website look amazing, it has all the fancy dancy web 2.0 features, it’s intuitive, easy to use.. Beautiful.
    • Awesome IM.
      • The chat on OKC is a lot like Google Chat. It’s quick, responsive, does a great job of notifying you without being intrusive or obnoxious, let’s you block people.. it’s a wonderful thing!
  • Cons
    • Lowest on the pole.
      • Not many people know of OKC apparently.. which is sad because it’s a truly great site. But, low numbers means you’ll not have many people to choose from. I hope more people turn to this, it would great!
    • Crazy loons.
      • As I mentioned with POF, Free means the crazies are everywhere. Some people have even created bogus accounts JUST to be a-holes. People are strange.
    • Saki Search
      • If the search on this was as refined as Match.com, I’d be loving it.. but I can’t drill down to be as picky as I love to be. 🙁

In a perfect world, Match.com would buy OKCupid and rename it Match.com, they’d drop the monthly fee and instead make it like $50 for 5 years. If you can’t find someone in 5 years then.. well, you have your cats.

Thanks for the review, oh great one.

Anytime, kid.. anytime.