Ever since the release of the iPad, people have been swarming around me and bothering me with all kinds of goofy questions. Can you put that thing down and look at me? Shouldn’t you have paid your rent instead of buying that? Can I get a chance to use the shitter now? … only one person asked me something worthwhile, wouldn’t that look great hanging on a wall? Here are my thoughts on the iPad as a picture frame.
First – It’s frickin awesome! I get all tingly in funny places just thinking about it. When I first thought of the iPad as a picture frame, I was a bit hesitant. I mean, Like everyone else, I feel a picture frame should just show one picture, one VERY IMPORTANT picture, not three thousand. I’m not too keen on providing power to a damn picture frame, either. All that changed just a few nights ago, however, when I was looking at porn. Nothing too freaky, just normal porn. Ok, maybe a little freaky, I like redheads.. but still. I thought to myself, how could I choose just one of these if I were to put one in a picture frame? I couldn’t! Having three thousand scantily-clad redheads randomly staring at me would be great!
Second – It’s automagic. No more digging through photo albums, or looking under the mattress for wrinkly-paged magazines. I just look up and presto, there she is.. and there she is.. and there she is. Heaven. Even more so, I can just stop the slideshow and search for my favorites, with pinch-zoom and rotation even.. oh yes, you like that. Holding the magazine in front of a mirror, to get a different perspective, is now a thing of the past.
Third – It’s not just for porn. Sure, I love my redheads, but what if I’m just not in the mood? What if the priest and my mom are stopping by for dinner? No problemo! This thing handles all kinds of pictures! Like the one of my puppy biting my toe, or the one of the time I climbed Mount Everest! All I have to do is open that photo album and click the nice slideshow button. Easy-peasy!
Forth (or is it Fourth?) – Just like an iPod or a hat, you can take your pictures everywhere! (except Isreal) This is an amazing thing for moms, and people like me who take way too many pictures of their pets and think they’re the cutest things on the planet even though everyone else wants to strangle me when I show them a picture of my dogs. No more lugging around scrapbooks, worrying that someone’s gonna steal my pictures, or that I’m gonna rip a page and have to redo the whole thing the next time I’m in the mental institution! Freaks like me have it all kinds of easy now!
If you like to look a pictures, this is foots up the best picture frame in the whole planet! Guaranteed! Sure, it surfs the web, plays games, and does all kinds of productivity crap, but looking at pictures is where this thing really shines.. especially porn. Check it out! (..and wash your hands when you’re done.)
*This post was meant as a joke, my good friend.. well, my FORMER good friend Andy Peters wrote a post about his iPad, and this was me poking fun. I swear to you I do not use mine for porn.. that’s what the iPhone is for. Bye now, hugs!