Though I Might Be Awake

Though I may be wide awake

left to ponder my mistake

I cannot help but hate myself

for always mischoosing which path to take.

 

Another day has come and gone

another day that ended wrong

I speak no words, I share no smiles

the noise in my head goes on for miles.

 

I’m surely no poet, and yes, I know it,

but my soul aches and yearns for my love’s return.

I’ve done all I could, I’ve said all I should,

now I must put my faith in all that is good.

 

I cannot control the bends or the turns,

I cannot predict how things will unfold,

I can only wish for what I’ve been told..

If the love set free was true, it will surely return.

 

* * *

I wrote this because I’m a mess.

I wrote this because I feel pain and more pain with every passing minute.

I wrote this because I suffer and I have no other release.

I wrote this because I’ve been the cause of so much pain, and now it has all come back home.

I wrote this because I’m not worthy of love, and that’s why, right now, I’m so very alone.

I wrote this because I’ve hit my punching bag so many times that my hands are on fire.

I wrote this because I’ve watched every show I had in queue.

I wrote this because I’ve cried for the first time in a while, and while the tears fell I noticed a smile.

I wrote this because I just don’t know what else to do.

But mainly, I wrote this because I fucking miss you.