The Love Lex

Hey, are you ready for more rules??

Golly gee, am I ever! ..not really, but whatevs.

Great!! Well, today I wanna talk about the rules of looooove.

lol! You? Have you seen your love life?

Hey, even the greatest pilots can crash and burn. We all make mistakes, especially me. Just because I know the right way, doesn’t mean I always choose it. That’s why they say, “Knowing is half the battle.”

Go, Joe!

Right.. so today I want to talk about the three things that I’ve come to believe are important for a successful relationship. They absolutely won’t guarantee kittens and rainbows, but they’ll at least give you a fighting chance. I’ve mentioned them before, and anyone who knows me well has heard me go on about them, but here they are for the rest of you.

-Never Stop Dating-

Typically, when we meet someone new we like, we spend months trying to impress them. We share our favorite places and our favorite things in an effort to reveal ourselves and to absorb them. Eventually, however, we usually get to a point where we reach an equilibrium. We start to feel that we’ve exposed all there is, or we’ve learned all we need to learn, and we stop dating and make the transition into routine.

The truth is that we’re all in a constant state of flux. Living is learning, and as such we’re constantly evolving. We will never know everything there is to know about each other, and we will never run out of things to share. When we date, we feed the relationship and it grows. The second we decide to stop dating, the relationship starts to starve, and we open up for the opportunity to have that hunger satisfied by an outside source.

Dating is not just a step you take in the beginning of a relationship, it’s not something you do to just to impress someone. It is more like exercise, it strengthens a relationship and it should be continually repeated in order to keep the relationship healthy and strong.

-Relationships Are A Privilege, Not A Right-

Being in a relationship is great, we feel like we can share everything and anything with each other, we’re free to be ourselves and expose parts of us that we would typically withhold from the public. It’s liberating and makes us feel safe. The problem, however, is that forming such a bond creates a false sense of security in us. We start to feel possessive about the relationship. We start to think that because our partner has exposed such intimate parts of themselves, that we have something to own. We begin to imagine that what we’ve shared commits us to each other unconditionally.

When we feel ownership, our expectations change. We start to think that we can get away with treating our partners in worse ways than we’d even treat strangers. This line of thinking is a horrible mistake. Each of us is a unique individual, trying to establish intimacy with someone who’ll accompany us on our journey through life, someone who’ll be supportive and nurturing. Instead, we find someone who starts off that way, but slowly evolves into someone who is primarily concerned with their own journey, and not at all participating in ours.

We are all individuals, we all have our own hopes and desires. Your mission in a relationship is to share each other’s hopes and desires. It’s a partnership, and if it isn’t treated as such, there is no reason for the relationship to continue. There is no obligation for your partner to stick around if you’re going to be self-centered and not be an active collaborator in their journey.

-Everyone Leaves-

From the very moment you meet someone, the clock is ticking. There is absolutely and undeniably a coming end to the relationship. At some point, the relationship will be severed. It may be caused by failing to follow these rules, or perhaps work separates you, or illness, or tragedy, but it will happen.

We need to keep this in mind at all times. You need to consider every moment with your partner and ask yourself if you’d be satisfied with your current treatment of your partner if you never got to see them again. It’s not a pleasant thought, I know, but it’s imperative to be aware that there are circumstances out of our control. We must be diligent and put the moments within our control to good use.

People fight, people argue. Strife is unavoidable, but don’t let it consume you. Try to put your disagreements into perspective and always consider that the words you say may be the last they’ll ever hear. Give your relationship the respect and care it deserves so that you’re never left with the opportunity to regret your words or actions.

Well.. that’s all I have to say on that.
Hello? Are you still here?

*sniff* *sniff*

Are you crying??

What? No.. it’s.. allergies!

Why the hell are you crying??

I’m not.. I’m..

I love you, man!

You’re such a wuss. ..I love you, too.