The Short Walk

Dude, guess what..

Your mom.

No, try again..

Your mom?

Ugh.. no! Tomorrow’s the day!

You mean?! Tomorrow you lose your virginity??

What?! No! Tomorrow I’m going SKYDIVING!!!

Yay!! ..wait, what?! I didn’t approve this!


Um, can we talk about this?

Sure! What do you wanna talk about?

Ok.. can we not do this?

Why the hell not?

Cuz, I dunno, I DON’T WANNA DIE!!!

Oh relax, you big ninny! Skydiving is one of the safest sports in the world.

Yea, falling out of a plane at 120 miles per hour sounds pretty damn safe!

It is, Serious! First off, you have not one but two parachutes, so you’re almost guaranteed to survive the fall. Once the ‘chute is deployed, you’ll slow down to a measly 20 miles per hour, that’s nothing! At worst, you’ll twist your ankle. Well..

Well what??

Well, I heard of a guy who broke his leg, but he was an idiot who decided to land in a pick-up truck! We won’t be doing that, we’ll just be landing in a corn field somewhere in BFE.

Well.. I dunno..
Wait, weren’t you against stupid stunts like this??

Yes. Things like skydiving and bungee-jumping never made much sense to me. I never quite understood why anyone would voluntarily put themselves in so much danger. Back then, however, my life was pretty dangerous, so adding to that didn’t make sense. I still feel that way about bungee-jumping, but I’ve been reading up on skydiving and it’s gotten a lot safer over the years. I mean, riding my motorcycle is a lot more dangerous! I fell off of that at 45 miles per hours and survived, 20mph should be a cakewalk.

mmm, cake

Yea so, wish me luck. If I do well, I’d like to get certified.

Well, you are certifiable!
Why get certified?

What do you mean?? Think of how awesome our vacations would be! Take Colorado, for instance. We’ve been there, what, a hundred times? Been there, done that, right? But imagine seeing the mountains from a totally different perspective.. FREEFALL!! How about Puerto Rico? A beautiful island, but what about falling from a plane and getting a bird’s-eye view?? Doesn’t that sound awesome??!

One man’s awesome is another man’s crazy.
Well, try not to die; I’ve got more insults I haven’t tried on you yet!

Roger that.

“Show me where forever dies, take the fall and run to heaven.”
— I Will Not Bow, Breaking Benjamin