The one about stress

Wasup, Party People!

Yo! What it be like, homie?

Ah, my bestest friend in the westest end!

That’s me, G. What’s all this about stress?

Oh yea, Well.. let’s see. You know about CoVis, right?

Duh. It’s the awesome new coworking place in Omaha started by mine’s truly.

Yessir! Well, Obviously, dropping all this coin and signing all these contacts in hopes of breaking even or [gasp!] turning a profit.. well, that’s some stressful shtuff!

Understandably so. Good luck to you, buddy boy. ..but I’m sure you knew that’d be stressful?

I did. It’s planned stress, I’m cool with that. The thing is, I’ve had this reeeeallly annoying headache for several months now. I got an MRI, which came up fine, so odds are I’m just stressed to the top. Of course, it could be some odd side-effect from taking ProVigil, but I doubt it.

Anyhoo, as if I’m not already top-heavy, people have decided to start throwing stones at me. I mean, I know I’m not perfect, and I know that sometimes I can come off as a conceited arsehole and whatnot, but I really do try to do good. Ya know?

I do. Don’t forget tho, no good deed goes unpunished.

I know. Last year was nuts, I literally went nuts. I said and did things that I’m not proud of, nothing horrible, but definitely stupid and not well-planned. i wish I could go back in time and undo it all.. all of it. Every goddamn second of it. It was a low spot for me, a Charlie Sheen moment. I didn’t think things through, I let my feelings control me, and we all know feelings are damn unreliable.

Yup, that’s why I don’t have any.

Lucky you. Me, I have them, but I usually let my logic overpower them. Last year, emotions won the battle. Logic took a back seat and just watched as I made a spectacle of myself and burned a path of self-destruction and humiliation.

Well, it’s over now, right?

It is. This year, it’s like I’ve been reborn. I have passion and drive back in my life. I have a desire to be a gooder person, to help people, to be person I know I can be. I’ve been doing good, I’ve been going out of my way to be nicer and to see things from the perspective of others. I’m trying to live my life from the outside-in. I want to erase all the bad from the past. I want to live every day like it’s day 1.

That sounds like a good idea, the past is unreliable anyway.

I know. I’ve read enough to know that our memories are distorted, the human mind is crap.

Except mine.

Right. I know haters gonna hate, and I know it’s hard to convince people of what’s inside you when the outside doesn’t match. I know I have a lot of baggage to overcome. I know I’m not a superhero, I have no business meddling in the affairs of others. I know I need to forgive, forget, and forge ahead. It’s not easy.

So what’s the plan?

I dunno. I guess I just keep trying to be a better person. I want the people I’ve hurt to know that I’m genuinely sorry, that I regret being a source of pain, and that I’m willing to meet with them to start rebuilding relationships and making amends.

I’m not perfect. I can’t promise that I won’t ever do anything stupid again, fact is I have a pretty damn high stupid to smart ratio. I will screw up again, but who doesn’t?

me?

Yea, but besides you? We all make mistakes, that’s no reason to go around hurting people.

Word. Want my advice?

Yea!

Hold your head up, keep moving forward, and work doubly hard to show people what’s deep inside you. You’re a good person, but you let your fears take over and run the show. Kick that shit to the curb, yo. Be fierce, be progressive, actually be gooder.